Wednesday, 17 May 2017

Reading Early Signs in Relationships


As I wrote in my post Relationships, general compatibility, whether of sensibility, personality or temperament, is an important component when we choose to involve someone in our (romantic) life. 

In discussion with my girlfriend, with whom I enjoy a very happy relationship, I hinted at the possibility that many of the signs of whether a relationship will work or not are present, if not at the beginning, at least very early on.

For example, our subconscious mind may pick up on an incongruence in sensibility or communication in the early stages of a relationship or even consciously perceive outright problems such as insensitivity or faithlessness but many tend to lie to themselves, thinking that these problems will magically solve themselves or lose in moment as the relationship gets stronger and more official.

Yet it seems to me the reverse is more usually the case. What one perceives as small problems at the beginning, which manifest in minor mood swings and arguments, will gain in momentum as the relationship progresses, especially when the romantic/erotic love aspect of the relationship has faded away or, at the least, substantially subsided.

Things that annoy one about one's partner, I venture to say, tend to gain in focus with time rather than diminish, especially when illusion has given way to reality, including that of unbridgeable incompatibility. 

All this to say incompatibilities and incongruences in our union with another do not magically disappear when one chooses to officialise a relationship, such as at a wedding ceremony or a Facebook update, and while being married to someone may increase one's sense of security of not being cheated on, this sense of security is of course belied by the widespread nature of marital adultery.

Of course, reading the signs about others is a hard-won and perfect-able skill which unfortunately may come too late, especially when one has fallen for an apparent soulmate who turned out in fact to be a psychopath playing one's psychology like a grand piano, e.g. by deliberately acting like a mirror for us, our emotions and needs. 

This argument points to a phenomenon I expressed months ago (Invisibility of Nature's Laws) in the following way:
"In terms of psychological laws, all that is suppressed and kept buried will likely come into manifestation after a period of time and all that is present in the invisible realm will enter the visible so that, for example, hostilities and incompatibilities between two friends or partners will eventually come out into the open."
In other words, it is perhaps worth paying attention to what lies beneath our purely conscious awareness, including in our relationships with other people, and try and reach into our subconscious mind by intellectual or introspective means which, as I have recently discovered, can come to save a friendship or relationship if all the unsaid, sometimes negative, chemistry is brought out in the open to a conscious, verbal level where both parties are in a position to gain in mutual understanding.

Reading the signs others communicate, verbally or non-verbally, willingly or unwillingly, can of course also be gained from studying body language and facial expressions which perhaps too few of us take the time to do, unlike professional FBI agents and TV personalities like Derren Brown.

In that respect, professional con artists and scammers know how to manipulate others by understanding the laws of (body) language and how to make others feel at ease and in control so as to better dupe them. 

Reading signs also very much applies to occult/esoteric symbolism which has a habit of hiding in plain sight in an often mocking, taunting way with regards to the non-initiate of the secret and largely hidden Mystery Traditions.

To conclude, a degree of vigilance is in order, not only when it comes to the early stages of a relationship, but also with regards to human predators. For it is better to be vigilant from the start to avoid potential misfortune than suffer misfortune and thereby become hyper-vigilant, with all the neurosis, isolation and unhappiness this state of being can cause.

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