Friday, 10 June 2016

Thought 237: Parents as People

At bottom, parents are just people who happen to have caused you to exist and, with some luck, have brought you up, nurtured you, nourished you, supported you and perhaps even guided you until adulthood. 

One's relationship with one's parents can be fraught if there are underlying issues of negative past dealings, undue influence, clash of sensibilities and general subconscious neurotic baggage.

I get on well with my parents more now that I see them as individuals with their own strengths and flaws, forgiving them the error of theirs ways as well as realising the errors I have made as their child, and not feeling emotionally beholden to them or seeing them as great authorities on life. 

Psychotherapists know well that as helpless children we have to give them a certain amount of power over us and that adolescence, whether in teenage years or later, involves distancing oneself from one's parents and discovering one's own individual power.

Although I have said that growing up means overcoming one's fears and illusions, critically evaluating one's relationship with one's parents and seeing, even analysing them as individuals, can help the healing process if there is a lot of parental baggage present in one's psychology. 

In short as with life, as with parents: love, learn and forgive.